I've found that one of the most difficult parts of being in a relationship is ensuring that both parties are happy and that each person is getting what they want out of life. Of course you're a couple but you're also still your own person.
One of the main things that my husband & I squabble about is the fact that we occasionally disagree with what we each consider to be the top priority in our lives. Right now for example, my biggest priority is to conceive a child whereas his is to build a house. It's the same old argument - He believes that the house is more important because it provides shelter/security for the family. I believe that a baby will be just as dry and secure in a rental as it would in a mortgaged home.
It makes me wonder. How do you know when it's the "right time" to do something? With life being so unpredictable, how do you make the decision to throw caution to the wind and just see how things turn out?
I'm a very rational, logical & cautious person whereas Phil is a very happy-go-lucky and spontaneous person who firmly believes in not giving an "F" about what people think and just doing what you feel is right when different opportunities arise. We really balance each other out, I pull him back down to earth and he makes sure that my feet are touching the ground and not buried in it.
For me, the whole concept of parenthood both excites me and frightens me. It's something we've both wanted for a long time but also something that just hasn't worked out just yet. I know that raising a child is going to be stressful, nerve wracking and sometimes really frustrating for me, but I also know that it's going to be an amazing and positive experience that will change the course of our lives.
Building on the other hand is going to be stressful and frustrating for a few months and then the house will be finished and everything will settle back down. It'll be the same life, just in a different location and with more m2 to clean.
I think that's what makes me question myself. I am always the one that backs down, I am always the one that compromises. A big part of me feels like it's going to be easier to build the house, make my husband happy and avoid the change, But a bigger part of me feels like I would be pushing Phil into parenthood when it's obvious that he genuinely feels like he needs the stability of the house to feel ready. But I guess it just comes down to this;
At what point do I start thinking more about me and less about us?