Monday, 30 September 2013

Book Review: Wedding Night by Sophie Kinsella

It took me 2 day to finally finish Wedding Night by Sophie Kinsella. It's not that I didn't enjoy it, it's just that I was a little disappointed as it became clear only a few chapters into it, that it didn't live up to my existing expectation of this particular author. I have to admit, I was excited to see this book on the shelf and it took a whole 2 seconds for me to decide to purchase it, It just wasn't the quality I've come to expect.


Lottie and Fliss are sisters, like most sisters they don't often see eye to eye. Fliss is the eldest and due to a series of unfortunate events, she had to take on a motherly role back they were children. Now as 30 something year olds, both sisters live opposite lives. Fliss is going through a messy divorce and Lottie is still desperately trying to find "the one". Sick of dating duds and still mourning the loss of her last relationship with commitment phobe Richard, Lottie leaps into marriage two feet first when her old flame Ben comes back into her life after 15 years and professes his love for her. Obviously she's crazy. Fliss thinks so anyway, so she tries to protect her sister by postponing the wedding at 1 days notice. Just as Fliss thinks she's bought some time to talk some sense into Lottie, things take a turn and suddenly everything is going wrong. Lottie is married and on her way to the Greek Islands on a dream honeymoon and a determined Fliss boards the next plane with plans to end this mistake of a marriage, whether Lottie likes it or not.

My Thoughts: 

This whole novel is just a series of unfortunate events that just snowball into crazy town. The characters are not very relatable and the storyline basically revolves around preventing Lottie and Ben from consummating their marriage. If you're not a fan of reading about sex, this book is not for you. 

The book is written in first person narrative and it jumps between Fliss and Lottie. It's well written but lacks the spark you expect from Sophie Kinsella novels. That being said, it's laugh out loud funny in parts and is generally quite enjoyable. I did find that some parts dragged on a little, but  it's a good read, even though it's not exactly the kind of book that you wouldn't want to put down. It would be a great beach or lazy day read, but don't expect feel any real sense of accomplishment when you finish reading it.

If you would like to purchase this book, you can buy it online here

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

You've got to love what you do

I often find myself torn between planning for the future and living in the moment. I'm a massive planner, I need to feel like I have control over things in order to function. The unpredictable side of life holds my biggest fears. I don't trust easily and I don't possess nearly as much faith as I should.

I constantly wonder about various aspects of my life. I feel stuck in a holding pattern but I haven't got a clue what I'm waiting for. Do you ever feel like that? It's like waiting for a train without knowing the timetable, it's on its way, but who know how long you'll have to wait?

What I lack in faith and patience, I make up in passion. I'm an incredibly passionate person. If I find something I love, I throw myself into it full force and both feet at the same time. I must admit, this gets me into trouble. I guess the point is that I'm a bit of a all or nothing kind of girl.

At this point in my life, my biggest worry is my job. I love my job, I love the people and I really love that I only have to go for 3 days a week. What I don't love is the fact that I feel unmotivated. I feel comfortable and I don't like that. The person I used to be wasn't a settler. I used to fight until I got what I wanted. I used to throw caution to the wind and take chances. Now I do what I do to get by. No chances, no excitement, no passion, just the same thing every day.

I want more. I want to be passionate again. I want to do something I love and I want to throw myself into it with reckless abandonment. I want to know that I'm working for something that benefits the world. I want to help the world and I want to do it now.

It's hard having big dreams and very little ability to achieve them. I'll get there though, even if it takes me the next 10 years. I'm going to do something I love. I'm going to make a difference.

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Book review: The Wish list - Jane Costello

I read, a lot. It's something I really enjoy doing and to be able to share my thoughts on a book with other people is also something I would love to be able to do. Sadly my book club folded at the end of last year and I still haven't had a chance to find a new one. So I thought i'd bring my love of literature to my blog with some book reviews. So, first up is The Wish List by Jane Costello. I literally finished 22 minutes ago so I'm writing with it fresh in my mind. Here we go!



Emma is approaching her 30th birthday when she finds a copy of a wish list she and her friends made when they were 15. Upon reflection, she realises that she hasn't managed to fulfil a single one of the 12 items on the list. With her birthday only a few months away, she resolves to tick each of the items off one by one with the goal of completing her list before she farewells her twenties. 

My thoughts: 

I'm a massive fan of chick lit and I have a particular soft spot for Author Sophie Kinsella. With a recommendation written right on the front cover, it was only fitting that I take the book home and add it to my pile. From page 1 it had me hooked, it wasn't the kind of book that you couldn't put down, but it was witty and funny and I was determined to finish it.

This isn't a book about fairy tale romance, it's both relatable and down to earth. I laughed and I cried, I really felt like I was peering into the life of a real person. 

Emma is hilariously sarcastic and clumsy, her friends are the kind of people you would want to hang around in real life and even though things don't always go right, this group of girls largely remain positive and supportive of each other. Each girl has their own sub-story and I found myself wishing I could give them advice. 

The only thing I didn't like about this book was the fact that it was quite cookie cutter as far as Chick lit goes. All books of this genre tend to work off the same template, so it wasn't exactly unpredictable. That being said, it was still enjoyable and while I wouldn't put it in my pile of books to read again, I would certainly recommend it.

If you would like to purchase this book, you can buy it online here.

Monday, 23 September 2013

5 things I'll never understand

I'm the kind of person who makes judgements on items based on both functionality and practicality and I make my mind up using rational and logical thought processes.  I don't often get "swept up" in the hype and a lot of the time I sit back and wait for things to be tested by the people who jump right in. It's safe to say that new is not always better.

That being said, there are a number of things that I'll never really understand. The top 5 are as follows;
  1. Clutter - I will never be able to get my head around excessive nic nac's and piles of stuff laying around. I don't begrudge people the choice to hoard items, but try as I might, I've never been able to understand why anyone would want to be surrounded by things. Clutter makes me feel claustrophobic. I'm a believer in having a place for everything and having everything in it's place.

  2. People who firmly believe circumcision is ok - Does this really need an explanation? Who in their right mind can honestly say that chopping of the tip of a baby's penis is a good idea? You wouldn't cut bits off baby girls so you shouldn't cut bits off baby boys. Would a man choose to chop the tip off his penis off at 18? unlikely! So unless it's necessary for medical treatment, it should be left alone! Simple.

  3. Thermomix - I understand that people want to spend less time preparing meals but I cannot understand why anyone would pay in excess of $1500 for this convenience. Spending that much money on a kitchen appliance just screams crazy to me. I've seen it work up close and I've heard friends talk about how quick it is but as impressive as it seems, it doesn't change my stance. When people say that it replaces other kitchen appliances, I can't help but wonder what they are talking about exactly. To chop things I use a Knife and board, to boil or steam I use a saucepan and to fry I use a fry pan. What do other people use? it's never going to replace an oven or a stove top so I just can't even begin to try and justify the cost. Bellini offers a cheaper equivalent for under $300 and the reviews say its very comparable in use and quality for most recipes. For personal use, why would you spend $1500+ when you could spend $300?

  4. Financial ignorance - What's the deal with people purchasing big ticket items they can't afford? Just because the bank says you can afford to buy a 500k house and a 40k car, doesn't mean you should. Our bank is willing to lend us crazy amounts of money but we would be eating 2 minute noodles every night if we ever took up their offer. I can understand accidentally maxing out a credit card, but I can't understand getting a second to pay off the first. Financial ignorance is ripe throughout my generation and more and more people are signing contracts and taking on financial commitments that they have no means of fulfilling. It's so important to look before you leap when it comes to taking out loans of any kind. Foreclosure and bankruptcy are not the kind of life experience you should ever have to worry about.

  5. Tough love - In my personal opinion, being cruel is never being kind despite what certain sayings might have you believe. Breaking someone down to build them back up again is still ultimately breaking someone down regardless of your intentions. No one ever deserves to be treated badly "for their own good". There is huge difference between holding someone responsible for their actions and berating them for their actions in the hope that it will prevent them from repeating it in the future. Tough love is simply an excuse to write off negative emotional outbursts.

Just because I don't understand these things, It doesn't mean that I believe that the people that do or own them are terrible. Lets face it, I don't understand molecular physics but that doesn't mean that I think it's bad. It's all just a personal opinion and just because it might differ from yours, it doesn't mean either view is more correct then the other.

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Back on the horse

Well, that was a crazy few days! Big thanks to the few people who jumped on my last post and bombarded with me with support and offers to talk. I really appreciated the concern, it was very kind.

I guess that I should just reiterate that the previous post was about putting feelings into words, more so then thoughts into words. The hardest thing to understand about depression is the fact that your thoughts and feelings often won't match. I've had days where I've sat in bed and bombarded my thought process with positivity while also crying my eyes out and feeling physically sick. Trying to tell yourself that you're ok whilst you're almost throwing up because you've been crying so much is pointless. It's at that point that you can lose control and that's what was happening to me. I let it all overwhelm me and knock me down. I'm back on the horse now though.

Now, on to something a bit lighter.

Did you know that Christmas is only 98 days away! We're in double digits people.

Christmas is my favourite time of the year, I just love the decorations, christmas carols, store displays and putting up the tree and lights. Everything about Christmas is exciting.

So last night we decided that our new family activity would be to make home made gift tags and cards for this year. We both made a few different ones and I was pleasantly surprised at just how much effort we were actually willing to put into it. I love craft but Phil isn't much into anything that doesn't involve an electronic component. It was however a lot of fun.

Today I woke up and read some more of my book and took myself out to breakfast. In case you haven't realised, I'm really hard on myself. I see my inability to do things as failure and I don't forgive myself for not living up to my own expectations. I needed a bit of me time to contemplate my next move. I need to be nicer to myself, if only that wasn't so difficult.

I was still in a crafty mood when I got home so I decided to make the paper pom-pom that I bought as a kit from a vintage bridal fair a few months ago. It's rather cute and I'm pretty happy with it, not bad for $4. I just have to find somewhere to put it! I didn't think about that before making it. Whoops! 

It's got little hearts on it!
This afternoon I'm planning on cleaning the floors again, they are looking pretty average after the rain yesterday. I also intend on making some baked goods and cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom. Not exactly the most exciting way to spend an afternoon, but when things need to be done someones got to do them.

So I guess I'll end this by saying that I apologise to anyone who may have been offended by my previous post. It's hard to understand what to say or do when you're faced with something you may not know much about, so after reflection I feel it's safe to say that it was unfair of me to have such a big expectation of people in my life. I know that the post had a general feeling on unhappiness with my family and friends, but I can assure you that this isn't the case. I know that I am very loved and that I always have support if I ask for it. I just forget that sometimes.

I'm doing much better and I look forward to getting better and feeling back to normal soon. In the mean time, I'm going to continue to try and choose happiness and seek professional assistance with my issues. 

Sunday, 8 September 2013

Depression in words.

The only person you've ever fully connected to is gone and you feel disconnected from the only other person who's supposed to understand you. He just doesn't understand and you're not sure he ever will. You can't blame him though. He didn't sign up for this. But then again, neither did you.

You feel like you're floating in the ocean but no matter how much effort you put into swimming to shore, it just doesn't get any closer. You feel alone and tired.

The problem is that you're starting to sink again, you can feel it. You're aware of it but you're struggling to find a way to signal for help. Pride and determination rip the words please help me from your vocabulary, you wonder how you're going to signal a life boat.

When you do try and speak, the words don't come out, its frustrating. You want to say how you feel and let it go but instead you say you're ok. It's just easier that way. People see a change in you but they don't know what to do, so they do nothing. It's just as well, you don't want your words thrown back at you later anyway. Lets face it, they prefer it when you're down. They know you'll be fine, you always are. It's the same story over and over.

Friends dissapear, you're just being stupid again. They've had enough of you. You're negative, you don't even try. You choose to feel this way. There is always drama when you're around. They have no idea. But it's not their problem so they back away. Someone else will help you won't they? You wonder why you feel so disconnected. There's your answer.

You can't sleep and you cry at night. You wish you had just one person you could confide in. You want to be listened to. You talk constantly but no one ever really hears you. You want to find a person who believes in you and understands you, someone who you can be honest with. You don't need an opinion or judgement, you just need to be heard and to be supported and encouraged to get better. Everyone else seems to have that one person that they connect with, so why not you? Is it because you're not good enough?

The thoughts of inadequacy start to conume you again. You're never going to be good enough are you? You're always going to be a failure.

You're getting in too deep again. You knew this would happen. It's just a war against yourself. Will anyone notice this time? You don't hold your breath.

It's always you. You know you're the only person who will tread the water.

It's not suprising that you dislike people. You give so much and get so little in return. You've given so much of yourself to others that you're not even sure who you are anymore. You just know that the core is empty and struggling.

You blame everyone else, but you know it's all your fault. Thats what they tell you anyway. You can't give up. You won't.

You'll be ok, you always are.