I'm a irrational rational person. I'm rational in irrational circumstances. I constantly plan and think about the what if's and what about's, but rarely consider what is. I don't deal with the here and now, I try and get the upper hand on the future.
So how do you try and will yourself to change? Is it even possible?
It's so easy to talk myself around my thought process, but really hard to make it stick. I've told myself that the future is far to unpredictable, that no matter how much I plan for what I think will happen, it's only really one possible outcome of infinite possibilities.
As a consequence of this though process, I've thought about fear. Fear is ultimately certainty of the unknown. If you knew exactly what was going to happen, could you really say you were scared?
My top 5 fears are the following;
- Baby Brown Snakes - Baby Brown Snakes have enough venom to kill 20 adults in a single bite. They are incredibly small and unpredictable due to fact they are juvenile. In the even that you get bitten you've got approximately 15 minutes to receive anti-venom treatment until the venom in your blood becomes lethal. Terrifying doesn't even begin to describe these little critters.
- Automatic Car Washes - If anyone ever asks you what's so bad about large rollers running from your bonnet, over the windshield, across the roof and down the boot, you can ask them the following; What happens in the event that there is an error and the roller smashes your windscreen or decides to place pressure on your roof? You can't exit the car because you're trapped. You can't drive forward because you risk more damage and your wheels are locked by the machine. So the industrial strength cleaner is rushing in with hundreds of litres of water, and there is no way to escape. No thanks!
- Pregnancy - This is a new one for me. It was kind of a realisation that came over me a few weeks ago. I read an article about women who have major complications after childbirth that are potentially lethal. Hmm.. I thought death via childbirth was something that happened in the 18th century, not in the 21st! But upon further research, there is a really extensive list of birth related complications that endanger the lives of thousands of women around the world every day. Birth aside, the fear of loss of a child is something that I would never ever want to experience. In the past month alone I've heard of two perfectly healthy women who have had their babies hearts stop beating in the 5/6 month of pregnancy and who have had to deliver their babies stillborn as a result. I've listened to a story of a lady who delivered her baby stillborn after it passed away during delivery. It would be easy to say that these are worst case scenario, but it's still something that I've considered. How do you put those risks aside and just go for it any way? How do you just hope that everything will be ok?
- Heights - I think this is self explanatory. What if I fall?
- Death via Terminal Illness or Serious Medical Issues - Stroke, Heart Attack, Hemorrhage & Cancer are the top 4 things that come to my mind when I think about this. They happen to people every day without warning. It doesn't get much scarier then these 4!
So this was a bit of a morbid post... Maybe I'm just having one of those days. I really wish I could turn my thought process off sometimes. Why do I worry about these things? In the unlikely event that any of these things cross my path, is there really anything I could do about them anyway? Pretty sure the answer is no!