Saturday, 27 July 2013

Friendship Disconnect

I'm the kind of person that tries really hard for a time and then if I have no success, I quit. This really applies to a lot of aspects of my life and I often use it as a justification for my limited achievements.

Here is my current issue - How am I supposed to be involved in the lives of people that don't ever invite me into them?

I constantly make myself available, willing and able to assist people at their convenience, but I can't help but wonder where to draw the line between feeling used and accepting that it's simply the kind of relationship I have with this person. Is there a line or am I just trying to find one?

The majority of my life is spent trying to please everyone else, it's full of compromise to other peoples benefit and very few true two-way friendships. It's usually their way or the highway.

A large number of people in my life are only interested in participating in things that benefit them. I hate making plans and having them cancelled on my last minute because the other person doesn't "feel like it" anymore. I'm sorry, but what about me? What about the fact that I was looking forward to this? Why don't I matter? I have friends that do this to me all the time. Everyone has the right to cancel plans, but surely there must be a "3 strikes and you're out" type of rule.

Don't get me wrong, more then a few times I've wanted to opt out of doing things but most times I go through with them anyway because I know that it means something or is important to the other person. Is it really so awful of me to expect that people respect me in the same way?

There are also the people that always want to know about you but never share anything about themselves. If you're upset they want to know the ins and outs, but when they are upset the most you get is a "it'll be fine". It's a little hard to feel anything but annoyed when this happens. How can you take their interest in your issues as anything more then curiosity when they refuse to open up to you in the same way? I feel like they don't trust me and I instantly feel foolish for thinking we were close.

I guess I'm just really struggling with most of the friendships in my life at the moment. I'm so over trying and I just want to quit.

Image sourced via google.

No comments:

Post a Comment