Saturday, 13 July 2013

Why don't I like you?

Have you ever found yourself meeting a new person for the first time, and suddenly feeling uncomfortable because whilst their happy voice says "nice to meet you" their eyes are full of disgust?

I Have. Yet it's also safe to say that I have the same tendency to automatically dislike people after about 3 minutes of interacting with them. It's not that I don't give them a chance, it's just this instant feeling of dislike.

Now here comes the creepy part... I'm not usually wrong! Most times I've had this happen it's ended in me genuinely disliking the person. 

This leads me to wonder, how important are first impressions? and should you invest time and effort into perusing a friendship with someone you know "isn't for you"?

I've never heard of people disliking each other, suddenly finding a common spark and then basing a friendship off it. Does this happen? Can a person you dislike really become a good friend? Or is there always going to be an underlying issue because of the initial negative judgement?

Studies show that there are a few very simple things that can make a person have second thoughts about you, these include;

Not opening your eyes wide enough - Yep! It's a thing. People who have squinty eyes can appear disinterested, boring and unapproachable. Who wants to talk to someone of they look like they should be in the toilet?

The way you dress - Jeans, T-shirts and Joggers are a casual outfit that suit most informal situations, right? Well, apparently not. Casual dressing is for people who already know you but when you're in a situation where you're meeting new people, you need to bring your A game. If you look messy, people are going to think you're messed up. We've all got "that friend" and very few of us are looking for another one.

Being nice - More often than not, nice translates to fake. If you're swanning around laughing and giggling with a huge smile on your face - people are going to think you're hiding something. When you're "too nice", people tend to think you either have ulterior motives or that your unrealistic happiness is instantly making them look bad by comparison. If people think that you think you are better then them, it's not going to end well.

So, you can't look tired, you can't wear comfy clothes and you can't be nice - what can you do? Do people really care about this stuff? It all seems a little bit ridiculous. 

I don't think I'm ever going to be able to explain why I think or do the things I do, but I know that no matter what my first impression of someone is, I'm always going to give them a chance to change it. It's not about them having to prove themselves, it's about me learning to be a better person. 

Image sourced via google

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