Tuesday, 16 July 2013


How many times have you heard someone say "Am I ever going to be happy"? I hear it all the time. I wish I could slap these people and tell them to wake up to themselves.

For a really long time I thought that happiness was something that I could obtain. Something that I could aim for and through a series of fortunate circumstances I could claim as a reward. I fell into a deep depression because I based all my worth on what I couldn't do instead of what I could do and who I was.

I was wrong.  Happiness is a choice, not a reward. 

For me, Happiness is derived from a number of things but they all start with me. I'm my own happiness. 

I believe that we all create our own happiness, we choose to be happy or we we choose not to be. We can either see the positive and be happy with what we have, or we can choose to be negative and mourn what we don't. We can live in fear, or we can live for the moment. This is still something I'm working on, but something I'm already finding beneficial in my life. 

I've decided to accept that there are many things outside of my control and that rather then fight them, I'm going to give in and go with the flow. Why should I waste my time fighting in a battle I'm never going to win? I'm wearing myself down for no reason. Resistance is futile. Life is life and the future is uncertain. I believe that I can either enjoy the ride or I can fight it but either way I'm going to end up at the same destination. It's hard to let go. 

I choose to forgive myself. It's been really hard for me to be kind to myself. I'm not perfect but nor is anyone else. I'm not always going to live up to expectations and I'm not always going to be able to achieve what I want to. It's ok. I'm proud of the journey I'm on. I believe that anyone (including myself) that makes a mistake, deserves to be forgiven. I will always forgive and forget instead of harbour resentment towards them. Holding on to negativity is of no benefit to anyone. That's not to say that I don't get angry. I most certainly do. I just choose to feel what I need to feel for a short time and then let it go.

In my life, I'm most passionate about the way I treat others. I often treat myself badly, but I make a real effort to ensure that I treat other people with love and respect. No one is any less worthy then anyone else. Everyone has intrinsic worth, in other words, you are worthy of love and respect because you simply exist. If people make you feel unworthy or small, it is a fault of theirs not of yours. I believe that everyone can be great if given the chance. I choose to see the positive, it's there even if you don't believe it. I believe that it doesn't matter where you come from or how you got to where you are, the past is the past but the future is all yours. You can't rely on other people to make you happy, but that doesn't mean that you have to associate with people who just want to tear you down. Be the change you want to see in the world.

I used to think that success was happiness. If I had a beautiful house, a fancy car and a decent savings account, I could do anything I wanted and enjoy my life. I focused on this for years and never felt satisfied with what I had. It was never good enough because someone always had better things. I wanted more.

I was a fool.

I realised that my fancy house and fancy car wouldn't ever make me a good person. I realised that at the end of my life, I wanted people to remember me for meaningful things, not for material things. Who wants someone to get up and say "She was a nice person, she had a fabulous house and never wanted for anything. She was a success and even though she worked hard, she had a good life. She will be missed" errr... no thanks! I want people to remember me as someone that was "Such a kind and beautiful person, she was loving and positive person who always made us feel valued and important. She was always the life of the party but also someone we knew we could lean on. She was there for us during both the good and bad times and will be very deeply missed." I know it's weird to think that way, but it was the best way to explain how I put my life into perspective. I want a meaningful life.

I may not be rich in money, but I genuinely feel rich in other aspects of my life. I feel incredibly lucky to be the person I am. I can't say it's always easy to be me, but I wouldn't want to be anyone else.

Am I happy? Yes, because I know i'm a good person. I haven't always been, but I will be for the rest of my life. People make mistakes and I've made some big ones. I know better now and I will continue to grow and I will continue to be the best person I can be for the remainder of my life.

You can't change what the actions or words of other people. But you can change the way you react to it and the choices you make as a result.

Image sourced via google.

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